PETA: World’s Biggest Internet Troll or Perfect Example of Our Over-Reactive Society?

                                     “HEY, ITS-A ME! MARIO THE MURDERING PLUMBER” 

    Or so PETA would have you believe.  This past week PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) took it upon themselves to target a beloved icon of many people everywhere; Super Mario.  In the new game “Super Mario 3D Land” The Tanooki Suit from Super Mario Bros. 3 finally makes a come back (unfortunately, this time it isn’t accompanied by an awesome Fred Savage movie.)  In the game, as in his usual fashion, he hits a question mark block, out pops A MAGICAL LEAF that Mario then uses to don a MAGICAL Tanooki Suit, which allows him to fly and also turn into a statue…somehow…Harmless, right?

Did you say “Right!”?

Congratulations, you’re equipped with common-fucking sense.

    If you’re wondering who might be bat shit crazy enough to say no to that question…here’s what PETA had to say: "When on a mission to rescue the princess, Mario has been known to use whatever means necessary to defeat his enemy - even wearing the skin of a raccoon dog to give him special powers.  Tanooki may be just a suit in the game, but in real life tanooki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur. By wearing a Tanooki, Mario is sending the message that it is OK to wear fur."

    Read that a couple times and allow it to really sink in.  Has your brain exploded from the sheer amount of stupidity and ignorance?  Because mine almost has.  They fail to even comment on the amount of turtles Mario has stomped on and killed over the years, the number of fish and squid he’s set on fire while swimming, or even the torture and forced slavery of a well meaning and hungry dinosaur.  I mean, they’ve practically just targeted the video game equivalent of Mickey Fucking Mouse!  It's over-reactive bullshit like this that really makes me question the sanity of our society.  I hear stories, all the time, of kids who are coddled and babied and told they can always be a winner no matter what; and we all know that's a load of shit.  There has to be losers in life, there has to be someone serving our burgers, there has to be someone cleaning our trash, it's the circle of life kids and it's just how the world works.  The correct things to tell a child is that they can be happy doing whatever they want, that they can have a good life doing whatever they end up doing.  Tell kids the truth.  Our world is full of censorship and "Oh god little Billy, don't look at that!", Going green and "Don't kill the poor little animals!"  We're becoming soft as a society and it's troubling.  That being said, though; It’s almost enough to make me wonder if they’re even serious at all, because, c’mon, is there really anyone this easily offended and this over the top about it?  It just seems like someone going out of their way to be this stupid.  They’ve even posted a game on their site that has you playing as a skinned Tanooki chasing Mario and trying to get your skin back.

…Yeah, you heard me.

    Check out the classiness of Nintendo though, here’s how they responded to the above statement of craziness: “Mario often takes the appearance of certain animals and objects in his games. These have included a frog, a penguin, a balloon and even a metallic version of himself. These lighthearted and whimsical transformations give Mario different abilities and make his games fun to play.  The different forms that Mario takes make no statement beyond the games themselves.”

     If you ask me, it easily reeks of past publicity stunts.  The most recent being the insufferable ICP and their “Fucking Magnets, how do they work?” lyrics.  It got everyone talking about them, even a skit on Saturday Night Live making fun of them and laughing at how these two idiots didn’t know how magnets worked!  The album with that song went on to be one of the best selling for ICP in years…bad publicity is still publicity nonetheless because it doesn’t matter what they’re saying about you, the fact is that their saying something about you at all.  So am I just playing into PETA’s plan?  Should I not have wrote this blog at all and ignored it?

…No…because I couldn’t think of anything else to write about at the time.  Also I hadn’t written a rant for awhile.  Say what you will, but damn it, I’m honest.

    Anyway, PETA has since released a statement saying something much to the effect of “HAHA j/k j/k.”: “Mario fans: Relax! Our [PETA’s] game was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, a fun way to call attention to a serious issue, that raccoon dogs are skinned alive for their fur. We wish real-life tanukis could fly or swat enemies away with their tails and escape from those who profit from their skins. You can help them by never buying real fur.”  Classic case of Troll’s remorse.  They choose the wrong target of their vitriol and there’s an even bigger public outcry than normal so they quickly backtrack.  This seems to imply that they were serious and realized their mistake; so again we’re left wondering whether this was all staged or is PETA actually this stupid?  Based on their previous wildly crazy press releases, I’d say they’re just trolling for attention and deserve a good old bag of Ignore shoved down their throats. 

Of coure, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Also, Tanooki fur is super soft and comfortable...mmmmm.....LOVE IT.

Oh How Fragile a Snapshot of Life can be.

I’ve always had a love for photography.  It’s the only form of visual art that I have any sort of skill in and I was quite excited to begin working for a Micrographics lab about five years ago.  While it’s not the traditional point and shoot photography most people are familiar with, my job entails taking all manner of documents old and…well…not as old and putting them onto microfilm; in turn, preserving these important pieces of paper for many years to come.  These documents range from newspapers of the 1800’s to confidential medical records.  You know in movies and television when they go to a library and look up old newspaper articles? That’s microfilm. You know, I’d be willing to bet many of you never even think that this sort of thing happens to documents like this anymore, though.  It’s one of those jobs that is incredibly important but happens behind the scenes, preserving your history while you sleep.

…That’s an awesome tagline…we should use that…

    For the past few months, however, I’ve been working more in the digital side of things.  Taking the images on film and turning them into digital image files.  This troubles me because, being the techie I am, I know all too well how fragile digital technology can be.  The term “digital migration” comes to mind; having to update your software and migrate all your information to a new device every few years to ensure it’s always compatible.  This has to happen with digital images as well with the exception that this isn’t your profile picture folder for Facebook; this is history.  Documents from the civil war, papers with signatures from presidents and historical figures and all other sorts of important historical documents all of them susceptible to viruses, wrong keystrokes, computer crashes and even hackers. Does that scare you?  Knowing your past and your history can be deleted in the blink of an eye?

    Now I love tech as much as the next nerd but when it comes to this big push for digitization of everything, I can’t say I’m a fan.  Sure, I know things can be backed up and nothing is ever really and truly gone, but your regular run of the mill computer user won’t know how to recover something that’s been lost to the aether.  Hell, even a good IT guy couldn’t get it back without a lot of work, if at all.  My point is, that digital technology is fragile. So far, I've only talked about our collective history but what about our personal history?  That cute little pink point and shoot digital camera Barbie is using to document her “Like, totally sweet bachelorette party with my besties.” could delete all 300 pictures when she accidentally presses a wrong button while she’s drunk.  That wedding photographer’s awesome digital SLR shatters into pieces when it’s knocked out of his hand during a group dance at the reception; he loses all the pictures on that SD card instead of just the 30 or so on the current roll. You see my point?  These are all pieces of memories and they are all easily lost.

    Everyone wants to jump to the next best thing, “Bigger and better, simpler and easier, faster and quicker that’s the best way!”.  What they don’t think of is how long a piece of film will last compared to a digital file.  When it comes to physical film it can be guaranteed for hundreds of years but how long is a digital file guaranteed for?  I don’t think anyone knows.  So when you’re out purchasing a camera and you have a choice between film and digital, think about preservation because “Digital Preservation” is an oxymoron.

Permanent: (adj) 1: Lasting or intended to last indefinitely without change.

Virtual (adj) 1: Being such in practicality or effect, but not in actual fact or name.

Till next time, you permanent kids.

Minecraft Break!

So...I've finally been sucked into the world of Minecraft...

Hence the lack of post this week...

I shall resume normal posting next week...That is all.

Avengers Assemble and the Rage of a Once Bullied Nerd

Let me begin this week’s post with an excerpt from “douche bag of the year” Jordan Burchette over at Men’s Fitness Magazine and his article about Comic-Con.

              

       “This year, attendees all appear to have colluded in advance to imagine the most popular heroes and villains of comics, movies and anime as doughy, sickly, weak, infirm or, in the most impressive examples, morbidly obese.  What we observed was a testament to the imagination and resourcefulness of the comic book fan, a live “What if?” comic, if you will, contemplating how our heroes would look close to death.”

                Now, I know what you’re thinking: “My god man, ease up on the comma usage.”  To which I would have to agree but the content is really what I’m pointing out here.  I’ll admit, though, this is a bit tame and doesn’t necessarily warrant a rage-filled tirade; for that, I give you this excerpt from Mr. Burchette in an article he wrote for Maxim a little while back.

                “For those of you not currently attending high school or working in NASA office services, and lack access to persecutable nerds on a daily basis, the comic book industry stages regional conventions where you can see all the fat versions of your favorite fictional characters.  New York Comic Con was no exception, showcasing only the most ample of future college campus gunmen flossing their muffin-topped costumes like pimps at a player’s ball.  There was Fat Colossus, Awkward-Fitting Cobra Commander, and Dumpy Slave Leia among countless others, all united under the banner of involuntary celibacy.  We would have vigorously applied wedgies, noogies, and whirly bowls to these socially-mutated permavirgins, but our Master Chief armor was far too restrictive.”

                So again you’re probably thinking his love of commas, especially the oxford variety, is a bit overwhelming; but again I have to say pay attention to his meat-headed content.   It’s this sort of ignorant, hate fueled and moronic talk that makes me wonder if humanity really is worth saving.  If you’re any kind of lifelong nerd like I am, you’ve been dealing with idiots like this for as long as you can remember.  When we all grow up and become adults in the real world we expect to not be bothered by this kind of childish and immature behavior.  It appears some “adults” don’t ever mentally grow beyond 15 years old.  It’s such an amazing example of stereotype; a magazine known for having ripped and attractive men on the cover making fun of the out of shape or socially awkward crowd.  This guy calls himself a professional journalist for crying out loud!

Comic Con, or any other convention like it for that matter, are meant to be places where the nerds and geeks can come and gather.  Where we can enjoy, and be surrounded by, the things we love without fear of bullying or judgement by the likes of Mr. Burchette.  Even though we think the world at large is populated by mature and reasonable adults we are far from wrong when a convention comes to town and the “normies” point and laugh at the “weirdos” who are dressed up.  I’ve talked before how everyone is a geek or nerd in some way but I’m afraid it’s a lot like homophobia.  Many psychologists believe that extreme homophobia is a way for the psyche to cope with latent homosexuality; you’ll never admit you’re gay or that you like the company of men so you’ll lash out and deny it, afraid of what others might say if they knew the truth.  Sure, it’s an extreme analogy, but it’s not far off; look at the last sentence of the second excerpt.  He’s not only wearing a costume that hides his identity he’s also saying how he’d bully others in the same situation while wearing said costume.  I’m also going to assume he’d run to the nearest secluded space afterwards and cry like a baby in shame; while downing a Twinkie or two for comfort.

Since the Men's Fitness article has posted, the internet has rallied in a style not much different than that of The Justice League or The Avengers.  There’s a Facebook page along with countless well known nerdy and geeky bloggers crying for this man’s head.  Many have even taken to Twitter and attacked his feed (@JordanBurchette if you’d like to join in).  The public outcry has been so daunting that Men’s Fitness has finally taken the article down; a small victory for the geeky crowd but we would really still like an apology.  We’ll see if that ever happens though, he seems to be playing the typical “You’re taking me too seriously” card.  I’d be happy just seeing him lit on fire and reduced to blackened ash in a public square…is that too much to ask?

My point in all this is to encourage everyone to not judge someone else based on what they like, who they like, what they look like, how they sound, what they wear or what they find amusing in a hobby.  I know it’s hard, I’ve been known to do it as I’m sure everyone reading this has; but if you must judge, keep it to yourself.  Don’t go out of your way to hurt someone else's feelings because that’s just mean and as a so called “intelligent” race/society, we should be above such things.  If we don’t rise above such petty trivialities then I’ll be joining the great Professor Hubert Farnsworth in not wanting to live on this planet anymore.

Till next time fellow nerdlings. BE PROUD! SO SAY WE ALL!

In which I review a horror movie for Halloween and stop using “In which” for titles.

This will be the last one I use “in which” with because that’s just going to get old after awhile, am I right, guys?  I mean, it really limits my headline writing options and if there’s one thing I’m good at it’s coming up with headlines! 

That’s totally a good superpower by the way; I’m willing to bet Clark Kent wasn’t even as good as I am at writing headlines, and he worked for a “greater metropolitan newspaper”!

Headline writing aside, let’s get to the real topic: Horror movies!  “‘Tis the season” as they say and oh what a season it is.  For the entire month of October we’re just oversaturated with vampires, zombies, werewolves, serial killers, spiders, bats, scary jack-o-lanterns and scary women wearing slutty costumes (that last one being the scariest of them all).  It’s also a time when stores try to offload their back stocked horror movie collection and you can pick up a good, or so bad it’s good, movie for fairly cheap.  Fortunately, this also means Redbox has a bigger horror movie selection and while browsing through their library this past weekend, the girlfriend and I happened across Scream 4, the not so long awaited fourth installment in the Scream franchise.  Needless to say, we were apprehensive, but pleasantly surprised.

All the main “stars” are back: Courtney Cox (that one chick from Friends), David Arquette (that dude she’s married to) and Neve Campbell (that one chick from Party of Five).  It’s ten years after the events of Scream 3 and Sydney is recovering well from her traumatic experience by promoting a new book about her ordeal.  When she comes back to promote it in her home town, however, a brand new set of murders begin and the mystery of whodunit runs wild.  Luckily the movie returns to its self-aware roots with lots of nods to obvious horror movie clichés both obvious and mentioned by characters on screen, as well as those that go unmentioned but are still apparent to horror movie fans.  You have your obligatory celebrity cameo death at the beginning (this time it’s Anna Paquin of True Blood and X-Men with Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars and Heroes doing the killing). Then there’s the couple of “red herring” suspects that are too obvious to be the killer, the ability of main characters to fight off and elude death while minor characters die all too easily, and let’s not forget the big surprise reveal at the end with the killer being not only more than one person but two people you never saw coming.  Cliché, cliché, cliché; but the movie is constantly winking at you, tongue in cheek style like “See what I did there?”  It knows what it’s doing and that, just as the original, is what makes this movie surprisingly good. 

However, there are complaints.  The writing is a bit rough in spots and the “movie within a movie within a movie” at the beginning made me groan a little.  My biggest gripe, though, is the ending.

Oh God, the ending. Rant Incoming.

                WARNING 1: SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD…BETTER BAIL NOW IF YOU CARE TOO MUCH!

                WARNING 2: PREPARE FOR LOTS OF GENDER DISGUISING PRONOUNS!

                The killer proceeds to make it look like they were, in fact, the hero.  They smash their face into a mirror, drops themselves through a table, stab themselves in the shoulder, shoot the person they’re framing, all to make it look like a struggle and that they were the only one who survived. She even kills a main character! Refreshingly Shocking! Then in the final minutes it appears that the killer is going to get away with it and become an interesting plot device for what could be a revived franchise; the survivor who was really the killer, great twist right?

Think again True Believers!

In what appears to be a scene that’s tacked on, the killer is found out while they’re in the hospital recovering.  Oh, and that main character that was apparently killed? Still clinging to life, despite the horrible stab wounds that would have killed any other character in the movie.  So our killer must climb out of their hospital bed and hunt down the only witness…they die in the process…justice is served.  I can only assume that this scene was added after test screenings showed that audiences wanted a happier ending; just goes to show that your mainstream audience wouldn’t know innovative and intriguing if it stabbed them in the face…this is why Hollywood is dying and running out of original ideas.  On top of that, after doing a bit of research, I found that there were a lot of script issues and many scenes shown in trailers that were cut, most of which sound like they would have made the movie better overall, what a disappointment.  They had such a good opportunity to revive this series and have it be the awesome bit of film the original once was!

We didn’t have a chance to browse the DVD extras but I certainly hope that there’s a version on the disc that doesn’t have that ending.  Not that it would be canon…but I’d be happier about it.

So, while the ending annoys me to no end, I still enjoyed it and recommend it to all you horror fans out there!  4 Stabbity Stabs out of 5.

Till next time Halloweenies!

In which we Remember an “i” con and I use a lot of inspirational clichés

This week we lost a man who was easily one of the most influential, intelligent and visionary; a man who helped shape popular culture as well as popular business.   From the iPod to the iPad, Steve Jobs was an incredibly insightful and intelligent human being; he practically invented the way we listen to music, watch movies or acquire info on the go nowadays. He’s been at the forefront of technological innovation for the better part of the last 30 or so years and with his signature black turtleneck has inspired many fellow tech geeks to follow that ridiculous dream to not give up on something you believe in. 

Now, I’ve been an iPhone user for almost five years and an iPod user for years before that and while I’ve never been a fan of the Mac computer (please don’t kill me) I can still appreciate the innovation of it.  I remember using old school Apple computers when I was in the 6th grade (circa 1996), playing games like Oregon Trail and loving every second of it.  I may even go so far as to say that getting so excited about that Apple computer back then may have contributed, in part, to the geeky person I am today.

You know, It’s something you don’t really think of; the idea that so many people in the world are using a device one man dreamt up.  That tiny little device you might be holding right now was just an idea in Steve’s head one day and that’s what inspires me; to look at that and wonder, “Maybe one of the ideas bouncing around in my head could be that great.”  Is it realistic that an idea of mine could take off that incredibly? Of course not; but you have to overcome that doubt if you want to succeed, you have to have confidence and you have to persevere.

Everyone wants to leave their mark on the world and Steve Jobs did that and then some.  He’s going to continue to inspire young inventors and tech geeks everywhere long after his death has left the public eye and that is the so called “American Dream” if you ask me, to live on in the minds of others and never be forgotten, all because of some wacky idea you had to make your music portable.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Till next time Mr. Jobs…

In which I become a giddy school girl over the weather

                 I’ve been able to wear a hoodie or coat consistently for the past week or so.  This means that fall, or autumn for you pretentious folk, is finally and officially here.  For some reason, the past two or three years, summer has kept its hot and humid claws into Mother Nature and wouldn’t let go until late October.  To feel it actually get here early has me more excited than a Dalek on Extermination Day. 

               

               Ever since I can remember, fall has just been a feel good season for me.  When I was a kid I’d help my grandmother decorate for Halloween and then go jump into huge piles of beautiful leaves that my grandfather had just finished racking up.  The smell of those dead leaves, or if they were wet after it rained, is something I’m glad they’ve attempted to cram into a scented candle…somewhat successfully I might add.  Scent is known to be strongly tied to memory and during the month of October that is why you’ll never see me in a down mood.  I’m just consistently surrounded by smells I tie to great memories.  Those leaves I mentioned, the smell of pumpkins carved or cooked, that odd smell artificial fog has, candy, fudge, apples, I could go on forever; it’s just a sensory overload!

Now I’m sure there are people who feel the same about winter, spring or summer, but there’s never a time of year that’s more heartwarming.   Nothing beats sitting with your significant other and sipping some hot apple cider or a lovely Pumpkin Spice flavored drink.  Maybe you travel with friends and see the beautiful and colorful foliage of the changing trees or possibly hold a big Halloween Party.  You’ve got Thanksgiving, a time of joining with loved ones and pigging out in true American style and then shortly after Thanksgiving you have the most heartwarming holiday of all; Christmas (I know it’s technically in winter, but only by a few days, my argument is still valid!)

Now, when I'm asked why I like the season so much my usual stock answer is "the colder weather" because if I didn’t have that quick go-to answer I’d talk for hours (See: This Blog Post).  Really though, despite all the reasons I've given above, I think it’s because this time of year was just ingrained in me as a child; if you think about it, it’s the best time of year to be a kid!  Leaf pile jumping and dressing up in awesome costumes, candy collecting and candy eating, pumpkin carving and pumpkin eating.  This is followed shortly by lots of good food which is then followed by more good food with presents! 

Speaking of childhood memories, though, I'd have to say that If there’s some kind of advice I would give to anyone, some bit of wisdom, it would be to not take life so seriously.  Hang on to those childish memories and the excitement you used to feel during this time of year.  You might say “Hey, I’m not some immature loser!”  To which I would respond: "You don't have to be and why are you so defensive? Also, how did you get in my house?"  You see, I believe there’s a fine line between being immature and having an inner child.  I won’t expound on my definitions of both, I’ll just tell you to not let go of things you’ve always loved but don’t let them define you either.  Build on your experiences and your memories and always keep that childlike view of the world…then you’ll be who you are meant to be.

To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature.  Most persons do not see the sun.  At least they have a very superficial seeing.  The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child.  The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Till next time, kids…